Birthday Sabotage
It's the 3rd of the month
An excellently important day
5 decades or so ago,
My parents made a little 'roll in the hay'
Tonight, I'm spoiling myself
Going out for dinner el solo
Down to my favourite local Bistro
For Salmon Wellington, Cab Sav and Gateau
Made sure I phoned ahead,
with 3 weeks to go
Booked a delicious pescatarian meal
And a table outside, on the patio
I arrived with a grin
And was shown to a shabby table inside
Served Beef Wellington, Sav Blanc,
And for dessert, a Mince Pie!
Why? What? How could this be?
I immediately called for the Chef
Oh Lanser, how could you get this so wrong
Have you recently gone stone deaf?
No! He said, in his monotone
And pulled from his pocket an email
You sent us this note just yesterday
Updating your culinary detail
But it wasn't... I didn't.... Who could it have been?
To know that I'd definitely be here
Someone who would sabotage my effulgent glory
And rob me of my cheer?
Then it dawned on me
Who sabotaged my favourite night
It was my horrible ex-wife
She's darn clever, evil and so full of spite
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