Bird Lady

City and county judges have ruled against you. Despite the court injunctions, you still feed the birds. There you are again, up at five-thirty in the morning. You have thousands of seagulls and pigeons flocking to the street. The noise they make can wake anybody up out of their sleep. They defecate all over. The street is matted in white. Those flying creatures are insalubrious. They bring diseases. Birds get plenty to eat anywhere else they fly. They can cover hundreds of square miles in a day. You feeding the birds is just like putting Donald Trump on welfare. You also have to steal to feed your dogs and cats. How can you keep seventy-five of them in your house? Are you the reincarnation of St. Francis of Assisi? I can’t wait to see the day you are evicted.