Bipolar

What’s big to me may be small for you But when you hurt I hurt too So many different phases I’ve been through Withdrawal & self-indulgence just to name a few I dodge sleep to note this nonsense to both me and you My desperate attempt at understanding Has only led to more questions I remember when medication numbed me well enough to stay quiet Nonchalant A zombie! All last night I cried and cried And You slept while I died all the more inside I don’t have all the answers One thing I know is Dreaming and fantasizing In these worlds I find solace Seeing and realizing It hurts… It hurts… People have been so unfair – But then again What is fair? So many questions… Once upon a time, I’ve put down my pen And Followed doctors and drugs Their drugs, my drugs Just stop judging me and fix me! I’ve put down the drugs Picked up a pen And this is the reason other people say I’m doing well? What’s real? I can’t tell Is it what you tell me or what I tell me? Drugs have concealed me Silenced me… Taught me that I don’t have to feel just see And shake my head Now I can both feel And Shake my head I can verbalize Sure But I’d rather not talk just write I can write and write just to get it out on paper But It’s still in my mind I’m not fixed Still I cry and cry While you sleep So which am I supposed to choose? Solace or the truth?