Because She Still Clung To His Promises
The girl was legend
All empty eyes & purple painted smiles. Every sweet white inch of her. And everyone knew
her name
She danced in satin skirts that only moved when she took them off. She was everything
delicate, everything demure. She was beautiful even when she wasnt
She watched the world with terror filled saucer eyes & the world looked right back with eyes
that were unmistakably green
It was clear glass, they envied her & she wondered why
She knew they hung up her picture, plastered her to walls&books&frames that made her
their prisoner. They stared at her when they were alone & forged a kind of intimacy she
could thrive on
But it was temporary & in the morning she was left to sing her own self to sleep since no one
cared enough to do it for her
The people that loved her, that glimpsed the real her when she uncovered it, all those people
left her at the end & she saw what they'd done
They'd led her down the wrong track but they peppered it with glitter & held her just right so
she was blind to every bit of it
She was the diamond dying in the night, she was the candied rose melting in the morning
dew. They lured her with promises of love & took her innocence before she even knew it was
there
She hated them but started to love them almost obsessively. The love hate became another
prison & she thought she was free because she always got nine seconds of pleasure before
the sun rose
Back bars catered to her kind & she walked in just to stand there & let their hands go places
she'd never gone herself. It felt like the past & she convinced herself it was right
One night she walked in, skirt past the legal limit & eyes bright like they used to be. It was a
shock-making moment, she hadnt looked so sweet in oh so many years & they were afraid
to touch her
She'd been their girl forever, passed around & used like an old movie that cant be rewound.
They knew every mark on her body, every scar where they signed her, a kind of "I was
here" of the human body. They couldnt recognize her. It was the first time she walked out
alone. Faintly she hoped to be pressed against a wall & killed but it didnt happen
She kept turning around haunted by phantom-feels & ghost-touches. Her body just wanted to
suffer. It was instinct & who was she to fight it?
Every step was agony. She walked so carefully as though she was afraid of falling in a river
of her own dark thoughts
But it was hopeless, darkness followed her wherever she went
Copyright © Andi Johnson | Year Posted 2009
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