- Because I'M Worth It -

My image was dull drab and dreary 
(It hadn’t be changed for a while)
I thought that my hair had potential
... It was time I updated my style
But the last time that I’d had a haircut 
I hadn’t been pleased with my “do”
I’d lost half my hair – though I’m certain I'd said 
“Not too much – just an inch, maybe two”
So I thought “Why not go for a colour?” 
No need for a salon for that
Just pick up a packet whilst shopping 
and hang my head over the bath”
It was time that I tried something different
 “Mousy brown” was my natural shade
But I wanted dramatic I needed a change 
(and to knock several years off my age)
So I checked all the products on offer 
“Nice and Easy” one packet said
Be it platinum blonde, jet black, (even blue) 
just mix it and pour on your head
I picked one that said “Cos I’m worth it”
... I was worthy of glamour and glitz
I read the instructions, I did what they said 
(I didn’t miss out any bits)
And the guide on the back of the packet said 
My natural colour would mean
That my hair would have rich reddish wood tones 
(with a truly remarkable sheen)
But the result that I got was quite different...
It was (without being too harsh)
Not “red wooded tones” but more “cowpat green” 
(The colour of wet bogging marsh)
A disaster of epic proportions 
My attempts at coiffure D.I.Y
I needed an expert to save it 
(A stylist who could “Do or Dye”)
I rang a salon that could help me...
Said they’d soon have my hair looking nice
Which they did (…..after five hours labour 
and a frightening three-figure price)
So when you see them all smiles in the advert
With glorious tresses in shot
Don’t be fooled when they tell you 
“You’re worth it”…
I've tried it...
                   Believe me...
                                       I'm Not!
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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Agustin Avatar
January 4, 2026 at 6:33 AM
Thanks for sharing this... exposing your thoughts through your unique poetic style. Meanwhile, I greet you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Be blessed.
Aurora Avatar
September 25, 2019 at 3:50 PM
This is so very funny. I really enjoyed it.
Green Avatar
September 25, 2019 at 3:45 PM
This was really funny Nichola, I enjoyed this all the way through. Very well written and just hilarious. Love that ending.
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