Beautiful Disater

Sometimes we do things there's no excuses for Though we understand to explain it we can't. Think about it & it makes me laugh how many times I make myself look like an ass. My heart's too big, my mind's too big. Never smoked cigaretts now it's cig after cig, rig after rig. Already feels like I got some kind of cancer so at the end of the day it doesn't even matter! I try, shatter after shatter. Tell me how I'm supposed to be after? Between the cry & the laughter, crazy seems saner. Beautiful disaster Heart ache & disappointments; I'm a master. Thoughts like "Why am I here?" Answers I need to hear. Always find strength within myself to get through, pick myself up & do what I gotta do.