Beautiful Agony VI

XVI: Who was wrong... Who was wrong I cannot say But often keep pondering day after day Thoughts to which attention I shouldn't pay But the heart simply won't be at bay Wonder who was right, both if at all But I lost both the game and the ball Emotions turned huge from unimportant and small The brain tried to stay strong and stand tall But even as I move on, I feel the same pain Thinking about it the mind must refrain The brain thinks all the moments were in vain The heart disagrees, wants to skip a beat again The past is gone, it cannot come back Whatever it was, something it did lack Lot of sadness, but true happiness it did pack No shades of grey or white, what remains is black XVII: Black is all that remains... Black is all that remains in the mind Fragments, memories, anything that will bind But the special emotions are hard to find They're lost, they were precious, one of a kind Today the mind is back in the same deep hole New meaning, it struggles to find a new role Everything is dull, hopelessness is the dole Now only the brain can control and cajole And still I think as I lay in my bed Was it something that I had said Something wrong between the lines I read Or simply a different path I didn't wish to tread Today the mind continues to agitate Struggles to find peace in any state His memories the heart doesn't want to berate True happiness is after all the best till date XVIII: True happiness is the ultimate need True happiness is the ultimate need Don't know if I did a good deed When I let go of the most precious bead Someone in the heart planted a seed Can't say the feelings continue to grow The rate of pain vanishing is slow The storm has passed but winds continue to blow But calmer waters make it easier to row Not sure how long the calmness will last The eyes will water remembering past Any form of happiness will be overcast New things will just need to distract fast True happiness will never come back That special something I'll always lack The memories the heart will always pack Carefully preserved, piled in a stack