Bear On the Road
stuck on the highway and need to pee
either way its not a pleasant time for me
I’ve taken my diuretic and its almost three.
the lanes are filled from left to right
I’m in the middle and my exit is tight
I’ve taken a deep breath with all my might
Can’t cross my knees while sitting in the seat
the A/C don’ work and I do mind this heat
the urge is more now my bladder is weak.
I see an exit with a station up ahead
Bless those who put it there instead
Maybe its closed, oh how I dread
need to get over, my turn is coming near
no one will let me move over from here
another sign showing right lane exit only (lonely)
can’t make the change and I missed my turn indeed
toll booths ahead which will delay my need
if only someone would be polite and do a good deed
just about to lose my control if I have to stop
line is long, drove on thru, now here comes the cop
siren wailing and lights flashing on top
had to pull over, am sure they’ll be a fine
by mistake I drove thru the express line
will just tell l him I didn’t see the sign
rolled down my window waiting for the badge to appear
Oh officer I have to pee and the pain is so severe
if you will please let me so and tell me it’s all clear
you see I saw a sign ‘bear right’ for a rest stop
but I couldn’t get over, some car was on top
if you would be lenient and let me make a swap.
I‘ll give you my autograph which is a sure treasure
then you drive off and go about your pleasure
no ticket please, I’ll be gone on all good measures.
the cop replied ‘now why would I want your autograph’?
I said I am well known to kept you safe on Americas behalf
have been around for many years and that’s no laugh.
I’d not want you to be in danger under some negligent acts
its my job to protect you and alert you to the bear facts
I will drive off now but you can follow my tracks.
I will be at the next filling station where is says ‘bear right’
lets just turn our backs and become out of sight
and to you my jingle which I’ll now recite.
‘only you can prevent forest fires’ said Smokey the bear
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