Beach In My Own Imaginary World
I remember when I was little
We had a pool the color of the ocean,
We even had the grainy, tan sand.
It felt like a beach, you know a weird beach where you’d have to climb a ladder to get in and out of the ocean.
I remember on warm days I’d go outside and play in the sand.
I’d pretend it was quick sand and act like I was getting eaten up slowly, going further and further into the sandy depths.
I remember going out there just to stick my feet and cover it up with sand imagining I was really at a beach.
The wind flowing through my hair
The sound of the currents splashing the side
The sound of birds and the smell of salt water going through my head
I remember feeling safe there, safe in my own mind on my imaginary beach.
The funny thing was I have never been on a beach, I still haven’t
But I imagined my own beach, I imagined my own little world
I remember when I was little I didn’t have to worry what people thought
I didn’t have to deal with the hateful comments and the events of the cruel world,
I didn’t have to save myself from drowning in the pools in my head,
I didn’t have to explain why my body was covered in battle scars, I never even knew what battle scars were
I didn’t have to fight off the demons in order to sleep at night,
I just had to imagine a Beach on a warm day,
I just had to imagine my own little world
But now imagining a beach on a warm day, with my hair flowing in the wind with the smell of salt and the sound of birds around me,
Or imagining I’m being eaten by quicksand going further and further down, doesn’t work anymore
But god I wish it did work because life would be easier if I could imagine being on a beach in my own imaginary world.
Copyright © Jillian Conway | Year Posted 2014
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