You'll Neverknow Poet Free verse

battle of two sides

my brain goes between
loving you and hating you
it can never pick a side to stay on
it hurts when you ignore me
push me aside
pretend i'm a ghost 
floating around, stuck in one form
while you're free and flourishing 
becoming everything you hated
forgetting everything you loved
including me 
which is worst of all
it makes my brain hate you
but my brain also loves you 
our memories together
spending every day by your side
laughing, smiling
i felt valued 
something i had to search for 
for so long
my brain never wanted to have to hate you
i never imagined hating you
never in a million year
and i still don't
no matter how much you've done 
no matter how much it breaks me
i could never hate you
but sometimes my brain likes to pretend 
hating you would be so much easier 
i hope someday i finally can

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