Bathroom Privileges
Here comes big Aunt Clara,
those arm pits really stink;
She uses all the paper,
leaves her dentures in the sink!
Wearing out her welcome,
attention's what she seeks;
For her to stay the night,
somehow becomes a week!
I can't go to the bathroom,
she's always locked inside;
Boy, I'm such a jerk,
when I'm forced to wait outside!
I wake up extra early,
a little bit after four;
I have the bathroom to myself,
that's what I thought before!
"Nephew",... Are you in there?"
"Auntie gotta go really bad"
I try my best to keep my cool,
by now I'm gettin' mad!
Ever since she lost our uncle,
she's always been alone;
I can sense her solemn grief,
but our bathroom's not her home!
Each time we have a visit,
our heads are held in shame;
She waddles into the bathroom,
and blows our poker game!
"FFLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOPPPP!!"
oh, what a gruesome sound!
One by one, they ease away,
their smiles replaced with frowns!
One cold October evening,
the skies were dark and black;
Clara sat on the toilet,
and had a heart attack!
We called the paramedics,
five minutes already passed;
What we thought was a heart attack,
was nothing more than gas!
We started CPR,
compressions across the heart;
A poot was what we heard,
she unleashed a vicious fart!
Aunt Clara's alive and well,
she'll be seeing us all too soon;
Our latest plans for progress?
Build another bathroom!!
Copyright © Milton Toran | Year Posted 2008
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.
Please
Login
to post a comment