Barnaby Jones

I'm a PI named Barnaby Jones and I send killers to jail. But when people receive my bills, they always yell. Three years ago I exonerated a woman's husband of murder. She screamed when she got my bill, you should've heard her. I make plenty of money, I sure don't work for free. I buy fancy suits with the money that clients pay me. Letting people get away with murder is something I won't allow. I drink so much milk that sometimes I suck the udders on cows. When people see me doing that to their cows, they pull shotguns on me. I'm a damn good Private Investigator but you will not like my fee. (This poem is a parody of the TV show.)