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Ballad of the Senior Brigade

Well it’s one o’clock on a Tuesday
The regular crowd wanders in
There’s an old broad
Sittin’ next to me
Wonderin’ which room she’s in

She says, “Girl can you join me for bingo?
I don’t really like playin’ alone
But I’ll pay for your cards and a table
And oh yeah, turn off your phone"

Now Marge in the cafe is a friend of mine
She always brings chips for a treat
And she colors with pens and pulls up her Depends
But at three she goes upstairs to eat

She says, “Honey, this coloring’s killing me
My arthritis kicks up pretty bad
Well I’m sure that my hands would feel better
If I could just stay in my pad."

Oh, la, la-la, di-di-da
La-la di-di-da da-dum

Now Ellen is a would-be novelist
She writes things that I never read
And she’s talkin’ to Mary, who’s allergic to dairy
And swears that the roaches come here to breed.

And the manager practices jumping jacks
As the residents watch in the lobby
They’re sharing some punch
That’s left over from lunch
And they’re trying to find a new hobby

Sing us a song, you’re the Senior Brigade
Sing us a song right now
We have limited time to hear you
Cause we’re goin’ inside for some chow

It’s quite a large crowd for a Tuesday
And the manager sports a big grin
Cause she knows for a fact that it’s all been an act
And it’s really a prison we’re in

And the piano sounds like it’s out of tune
As the keyboardist tries to play
And the people sit at their tables
And say just look at Mabel
She’s talking about passing away

Oh, la, la-la, di-di-da
La la, di di dah, dah, dah

So crank up the tunes, we’ll play bingo
And who volunteers to call?
Let’s ask one-eyed Murray
Since we’re in no big hurry
He’s shy but he gives it his all

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