Baldness Counseling

Beware of the men in bald, they say.
You’ll see them everywhere.
They come in sizes, tall and short,
upon their heads, no hair.

The bald men come in thin, they say.
They also come in fat.
Their heads are found upon their necks,
often, underneath a hat.

It is much better, people say,
to have hair upon your head.
It doesn’t matter, the color,
be it blonde or black or red.

But, if your head grew grass instead,
they’d say you ought to mow it,
and water it so it won’t fall out.
That’s what they’d say, I know it.

Now let me tell you something, son,
about the bald men you will see.
Some of them are not so bad,
like my father, his father, and me.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025

Poem

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M  Avatar
March 14, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Haha funny write David! Debx
Crandall Avatar
March 14, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Thanks - glad you got a laugh Deb!
Cunningham Avatar
March 14, 2025 at 11:20 AM
Lol, count me in too David, as the saying goes, grass doesn't grow on a busy street. Hair is overrated. Tom
Crandall Avatar
March 14, 2025 at 11:25 AM
haha, never heard that, but yes, I agree!
Blown Avatar
March 14, 2025 at 8:22 AM
'...if your head grew grass...'....very very humorous......but.....these days legalisation means '...if grass grew your head...'cofcofmmhahahaa'......len
Crandall Avatar
March 14, 2025 at 11:24 AM
haha, I guess I got that backwards
Kendrick Avatar
March 14, 2025 at 5:23 AM
Good one. I like the humor. They say if you use head and shoulders shampoo it helps keep a person to not loose so much hair. My husband's father was bald, slick as a soccer ball, but my husband at 84 still has hair (thinner and finer), but still has some hair. I enjoyed reading this one. Sara K
Crandall Avatar
March 14, 2025 at 11:23 AM
That's great. In my case, by age 35 - all gone!
Vaso Avatar
March 13, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Love the sense of humor in this!
Crandall Avatar
March 14, 2025 at 11:23 AM
Thanks Arthur!
Wolf Avatar
March 13, 2025 at 8:42 PM
David, I think you have fond your future profession: Baldness Counselor! Good luck.
Crandall Avatar
March 13, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Thanks, Gershon, I would say that I'm eminently qualified.
Bartley Avatar
March 13, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Thanks for the comment on your last visit to my poems. I just had to come over to yours and get some Baldness Counseling. Me, I have the infamous receding hairline (I call them my "horns") My friend who also happens to be close to my age has the "halo" (bald spot) Certainly made me laugh. Thanks
Crandall Avatar
March 13, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Maybe we should start a support group - lol!
Greenhough Avatar
March 13, 2025 at 8:03 PM
This is cute. Hereditary baldness is rarely welcomed. Your poem speaks to many men
Crandall Avatar
March 13, 2025 at 8:28 PM
My son tells me he'll never lose his hair. So far, he's right...so far.
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