Bacon Balls - risque

When I was only ten years old, I yelled at my TV For I could not believe the filth they played to kids like me Right there upon my TV screen, a frog with skin of green Was lusted after by a pig whose plans were quite obscene That frog would always act like he was playing hard to get But that there pig would have her way… it was a certain bet Well, some years on I met that frog and frankly I saw red I glared right at that dirty frog and this is what I said… Up yours, Bacon-Balls, there’s no ifs and no buts I’d bet ten bucks you let that pig have access to your nuts So up yours, Bacon-Balls, your love life is a crime A frog that sleeps with pigs should be a frog that’s doing time Amphibians ain’t meant to speak, but he’d been on TV He stood there with an attitude and tried to make me see I glared at him and said there’s nothing here to be discussed A frog that sleeps with piggies is a frog I’ll never trust Up yours, Bacon-Balls, there’s no ifs and no buts I’d bet ten bucks you let that pig have access to your nuts So up yours, Bacon-Balls, your love life is a crime A frog that sleeps with pigs should be a frog that’s doing time See, I’d just seen my dentist and he told me you’d been in He said he had to throw you out or land one on your chin He wouldn’t see you then, nor would he polish up the gnashers Of any frog whose teeth and breath smelled much like bacon rashers Up yours, Bacon-Balls, there’s no ifs and no buts I’d bet ten bucks you let that pig have access to your nuts So up yours, Bacon-Balls, your love life is a crime A frog that sleeps with pigs should be a frog that’s doing time That frog has really messed me up. My nightmares feature girls They all have snouts, four trotters and a little tail that curls My given name is Herman so my friends all call me Hermie But in my nightmare all those pigs squeal, “Come to Mumma, Kermie!” Up yours, Bacon-Balls, there’s no ifs and no buts I’d bet ten bucks you let that pig have access to your nuts So up yours, Bacon-Balls, your love life is a crime A frog that sleeps with pigs should be a frog that’s doing time I only hope that, one day, on him, law enforcement calls And at the gallows they will hang him by his bacon balls Be sure that I shall be right there to watch him as he falls And as they pull the lever, I’ll cry, “Up yours, Bacon Balls!”