Back To Bland Stew
I joined the graduation of a stupid situation
where everyone bar one was quite a grinner.
We put on our jester hat to knock one fella’ flat;
which didn’t mean that we turned out a winner.
He was different you see, so was picked on endlessly
to become the butt of every joke we knew,
now I have a constant nightmare, from that shed out there
and believe me I have trouble eating stew.
You see I had a shearing job working with a humorous mob;
their wit enough to write themselves a book,
where the contractor you see, employed this fella’ called Ah Lee;
so different to the normal shearers cook.
He was a happy fellow but because his skin was yellow
and his grasp on English language was so poor,
he saw everything as funny, even though he was the ‘bunny’;
encouraging us shearers more and more.
Some of the tricks we played left most of us dismayed
when Ah Lee just bowed his head and gave a grin.
This made us shearers worse; we want to see him curse,
instead of the constant ‘taking on the chin’.
I could just imagine war when a bucket on the door
filled with water landed on a Shearer’s head,
or if working boots he wore were nailed tightly to the floor,
there’d be riots and a chance of someone dead.
So we kept a status quo with the chance of fighting low.
Us shearers and the ‘rousies’ joined as one.
Every time we could, we’d hide bullets in fire-wood.
Ah Lee just gave that grin and joined the fun.
Or when in a drunken state, us grinning mob would wait
until Ah Lee was snuggled up in bed,
then someone would give a wink; into his room we’d slink
and let go a shotgun blast beside his head.
Yet Ah Lee he never faltered, his reaction never altered.
That flamin’ grin was getting to us all,
‘cause a ruse is a distraction that is s’posed to get reaction,
and send the poor old ‘bunny’ up the wall.
But the opposite’s occurred; Ah Lee cannot be stirred.
From his calmness under duress we admire,
so then we all decided, no longer should he be derided;
Ah Lee no longer will be under fire.
I was in the delegation to explain the situation
to Ah Lee who faced us with that grin.
Our truce was promptly said. Ah Lee just bowed his head,
then answered why he took it on the chin.
“Ah ‘velly’ fine you men”, and then he bowed again.
“Now’s the time to ‘tellee’ what I do,
if you ‘leava’ me alone, to you I let be known
from now on I put real water in your stew”.
Copyright © Lindsay Laurie | Year Posted 2018
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