Back Seat Driver

‘Do not go too fast’ she said ‘but do not go too slow’ ‘And do not start the car until it's safe for you to go’. ‘Can you see that dog?’ she said ‘and watch out for that cat, And you’re leaning back too far’ she said ‘I don’t like how you’re sat’ ‘And I think it’s going to rain’ she said ‘so I hope the tread is good And the brakes are working perfectly. I hope that’s understood?’ ‘Stop’ she said ‘did you not see, that pigeon over there?’ And if we get a flat’ she said ‘I hope you’ve got a spare?’ ‘Look out! Can you stop?’ she said ‘I’d like to stay alive!’ ‘Oh can you just be quiet’ I said ‘and let me pull out o’ the drive!’