Babble On

I shave every morning after making love to my wife at night;
My beard now drags across the floor.
If I had a nickel for every time that I was right,
The next time I am right I’ll have one cent more than four.

I am so tired I feel beat like a rented mule;
Seven days a week I must go to work.
Scratch my back with a chain saw and call me a fool;
For dropping out of college, I am such a jerk.

“Who licked the red off your apple”, is what she asks of me;
My mood is always kind of sour;
Civility lies buried in the grave with chivalry;
My days need another twenty hours.

I’d eat a one ton tomato, are the words I thought they sang
In that song from many years ago;
If the world really did begin with a cosmic blast big bang
Then Genesis is fiction, don’t you know.

If I had common sense it would be the pamphlet by Thomas Payne;
Though the pages would not be too well worn.
In a world all gone mad, normalcy makes you insane;
The civil contract, politicians have all torn.

If you had seen what I saw, you would saw the table in half
And crawl out the whole that the two halves now make;
If two wrongs make a right then I would be the one with the last laugh
As my life is but a series of mistakes.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2011

Poem

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Devonshire Avatar
January 14, 2011 at 1:42 PM
Keep babbling, Joe, and let's not forget, "You scratch my back; I'll scratch yours." I think that's the creed by which politicians life today. Enjoyed the way you compiled all these sayings together. The first one about the beard is my favorite -- never heard it before. Good work, my friend. Love, Carolyn
Onclaud Avatar
January 14, 2011 at 8:22 AM
a well-expressed woe with wit and wisdom shining! wonderful, joe! :) nette
Dietrich Avatar
January 14, 2011 at 8:22 AM
Joe, this is very dark humor.... and I LIKE IT!!
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