If it weren't for conversations Arthur and I are having on the subject, I don't think I would have had the courage to talk about it here. So, thank you Arthur Vaso :)
I rise at the center of... Is it a room? This is a face. There is motion, too fast, too clamorous. Cryptic and opaque. Shapes shift into my field of view. Recognize! The message spoken ends in an upward curve. Interpret! It means a question ? ? ? ? What to respond, when.... I get nauseous. My body twitches, my mouth tics I make no sound I cannot speak. I cast my eyes down. Curl up, arms wrapped around self; Rock to calm down again; Count the tiles; Hum Rachmaninoff. What is this incomprehensible life? My soothing world is filled with letters and words, a keyboard, screen, and silent friends They speak to me in sentences and formulas of friendship and love... on my screen.. I am afraid I am always so very afraid Once I was somewhere else Locked up inside My head Once I was somewhere else I will not go back there I want to stay out.
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