Autism
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If it weren't for conversations Arthur and I are having on the subject, I don't think I would have had the courage to talk about it here. So, thank you Arthur Vaso :)
I rise at the center of...
Is it a room? This is a face.
There is motion, too fast, too clamorous.
Cryptic and opaque. Shapes shift
into my field of view.
Recognize! The message spoken
ends in an upward curve.
Interpret! It means a question
? ? ? ?
What to respond, when....
I get nauseous.
My body twitches, my mouth tics
I make no sound
I cannot speak.
I cast my eyes down.
Curl up, arms wrapped around self;
Rock to calm down again;
Count the tiles;
Hum Rachmaninoff.
What is this incomprehensible life?
My soothing world is filled with letters and words,
a keyboard, screen, and silent friends
They speak to me in sentences and formulas
of friendship and love...
on my screen..
I am afraid
I am always so very afraid
Once I was somewhere else
Locked up inside
My head
Once I was somewhere else
I will not go back there
I want to stay out.
Copyright © Darren White | Year Posted 2017
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