August sunset
You make my head sway, my eyes not blink looking amongst the sea of people you walk in- As I pretend to go for a drink.
But we are distant. Seasons have passed, flowers bloomed and died so fast and I’m happy when I’m away from you. But the season of unknown makes me physically sick to the only and bare sight of you.
You choose to be this way. Then why don’t I get to choose to be careless of you looking away? To stop the sway. Let it all go. Why do you still control how I feel?, even when you don’t know. The way I feel- For something so long gone that maybe it was never even real.
You managed to crush my healed heart with just silence. And I wonder how much longer I’ll live with its violence. The guilt of hurting you is hurting me too, for not seeing all the things you did and what you indirectly put me through. Left me in torment and despair, to drown, not swim, not sway, to perish away.
All I wanted was for us to remain friends, I’ve been vulnerable and honest- and I think ,so far, it was my biggest regret -for never have I felt more humiliated in an August sunset.
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