Attempting One-Liners

There's no I in team, but if you're clever you can a find a "me"
I ran a home-run, and the whole crowd followed my lead... (my parents thought it cute naming me Forrest)
He was counting his doll collection, using the letters of the alphabet, and couldn't make it pass the Y chromosome
I received a two page text and immediately knew its gender... (the majority of it was exclamation points)
That girl's my soul mate... (which means she finds my missing soles in the most peculiar places)
I'd get into the meat of the issue, except I'm a vegetarian
He stepped on a goathead then passed out... (that goat was MAD!)
I saw a shooting star, then ran the other way... (just barely missing Chuck Norris's bullets)
He was just bright-eyed and bushy tailed... had nothing to do with last night's party
It's true, two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do



Inspired by Tim Ryerson's poem, Somewhat Twisted Thoughts of the Day
Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

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Seal Avatar
April 30, 2013 at 6:31 PM
Txt ones the best Tim, going over to look at page two
Hicks Avatar
April 30, 2013 at 11:20 PM
Perhaps puns are a low sense of humor, but I still get a kick out of exercising those brain muscles in anyway I can. Glad you enjoyed them!
Lamoureux Avatar
April 16, 2013 at 7:05 AM
Well done Timothy
Hicks Avatar
April 17, 2013 at 1:13 AM
Thanks Rick!
Breidenthal Avatar
April 15, 2013 at 8:41 PM
Great ones! Love the Chuck Norris one best! Always, Laura
Hicks Avatar
April 16, 2013 at 1:09 AM
Appreciate your comments, always, Laura! I'm happy you got a kick out of the Chuck Norris one for I thought that was one of the more clever ones... haha...
Hendricks Avatar
April 15, 2013 at 11:38 AM
hahaha. Thanks for a good laugh, Timothy. :)
Hicks Avatar
April 16, 2013 at 1:09 AM
Laughter is good for the soul!
Hunter Avatar
April 15, 2013 at 8:12 AM
Love this, Timothy...the wit here is right up my alley!
Hicks Avatar
April 16, 2013 at 1:08 AM
Thanks Caleb!
Ryerson Avatar
April 15, 2013 at 5:55 AM
Funny stuff Timothy!...Love the line about the text and the last one the most...keep it up and many thanks for the compliment! - Tim
Hicks Avatar
April 16, 2013 at 1:08 AM
I'm glad you liked it Tim! I'm happy to have stumbled upon your quirky poems, otherwise I would not have attempted it myself... haha.
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