At Bubba's We Spent the Night

We take Bubba home to drop him off His father and mother come out, they begin to hack and cough His father extends his hand out to shake mine My wife says don't be rude, go ahead and shake it, I do so, his hand is covered with mucuossy slime After shaking his hand, I begin to gag The wife with no bra, smiles and hands me a Save A Lot shopping bag She takes a swig from her 32 oz brew Then offers it to my wife Sue I say come on, it is your turn to show manners now As she takes a swallow, I watch her face, the expression looked like she was trying to give birth to a cow Bubba asks his father if we can all stay the night The father says fittin' us all in one bedroom will be very tight I tell him we will sleep in the kitchen near the back door He says pay no mind to critters on the floor I ask where is the toilet, I have to go He says out back, you're in luck, I just dug a fresh new hole I think to myself, this is not the way life should be A night at Bubba's I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy At 3 am, they are in the kitchen stepping over us getting snacks We are offered each a bowl of that famous soup called fatback Bubba yells I want my box of cupcakes His mom hands a pack of Reelfoot pork hot dogs and says for goodness sakes He devours them as if he was in a hot dog eating contest Bubba says, after I eat my cupcakes, that will tie me over so I can rest A little after 4, Bubba gets his fill After breakfast, we were told we can leave on our own free will After trying some rocky mountain oysters, it is time we leave The dad says we would love to come and stay with y'all on New Year's Eve I tell him until 2040 we have plans He says that's fine that will give them enough time to collect some aluminum cans We move to another state with no forwarding address Never again putting ourselves in that kind of mess