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At Bubba's We Spent the Night

We take Bubba home to drop him off 
His father and mother come out, they begin to hack and cough 
His father extends his hand out to shake mine 
My wife says don't be rude, go ahead and shake it, I do so, his hand is covered 
with mucuossy slime 
After shaking his hand, I begin to gag 
The wife with no bra, smiles and hands me a Save A Lot shopping bag 
She takes a swig from her 32 oz brew 
Then offers it to my wife Sue 
I say come on, it is your turn to show manners now 
As she takes a swallow, I watch her face, the expression looked like she was 
trying to give birth to a cow 
Bubba asks his father if we can all stay the night 
The father says fittin' us all in one bedroom will be very tight 
I tell him we will sleep in the kitchen near the back door 
He says pay no mind to critters on the floor 
I ask where is the toilet, I have to go 
He says out back, you're in luck, I just dug a fresh new hole 
I think to myself, this is not the way life should be 
A night at Bubba's I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy 
At 3 am, they are in the kitchen stepping over us getting snacks 
We are offered each a bowl of that famous soup called fatback 
Bubba yells I want my box of cupcakes 
His mom hands a pack of Reelfoot pork hot dogs and says for goodness sakes 
He devours them as if he was in a hot dog eating contest 
Bubba says, after I eat my cupcakes, that will tie me over so I can rest 
A little after 4, Bubba gets his fill 
After breakfast, we were told we can leave on our own free will 
After trying some rocky mountain oysters, it is time we leave 
The dad says we would love to come and stay with y'all on New Year's Eve 
I tell him until 2040 we have plans 
He says that's fine that will give them enough time to collect some aluminum 
cans 
We move to another state with no forwarding address 
Never again putting ourselves in that kind of mess

Copyright © | Year Posted 2008




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Book: Reflection on the Important Things