Assaulted Peanuts
Assaulted Peanuts
They rode across the Western Hills,
For the land of Middle Eyed Bong,
To raid the Salted Peanut Trees,
Of King Pod and his merry throng.
Who were they, this reckless band,
Dare to plunder with motley crew.
They knew not what their fate would be,
Angering the wrath, of Old Cashew.
Cashew is Sentinel of this land,
Most powerful Nut to crack.
Born and raised in the Pecan Mines,
Eyes of Steel and Walnut Black.
Renegade leader of this Gang,
Was Outlawed Percival Grimface,
Once a native of Middle Eye,
Until his assaulted Peanut disgrace.
Pod and Cashew received a snitch,
Of Percival’s imminent raid
and so, prepared their men elite,
The Special Peanut Brittle brigade.
Grimface had an informant,
A betrayer amongst his ranks,
Passed the word to King Pod’s Men,
Who were grateful and offered thanks.
The Brittle Brigade were fighting men,
No one could take them down,
May contain some traces of Nut,
Emblazoned above the Town.
The attack was planned for Midnight,
On the Thirty-Third of July.
A new Moon was clearly visible,
Under a cloudy dark blue sky.
On the edge of town, they did dismount,
To make ready for their swag,
In expectation of stealing Salties
and Take-away in a plastic bag.
The Peanut Trees were just to hand,
When Cashew shouted, GO MEN GO.
Percival walked into an ambush,
He was struck underneath, down below.
No match for King Pod’s Brittle Men,
Who had muscle and sling shot bricks.
Grimface and his Gang, outwitted,
Only Conkers and pointy sticks.
They never saw it coming,
No protection from Peanut shells,
Hastily retreating under fire,
Their pain and ear-piercing yells.
Those Renegades had been dispatched
Back from whence they came,
Never to return to Middle Eyed Bong,
In fear; of getting more, of the same.
If there’s a moral to this story,
Of which I seriously doubt,
Buy your own Salted Peanuts,
Else your villainy will find you out
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