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Ash On the Floor

A plastic smile He waves hello To all his friends He'll never know Beneath his skin There lives the sin Protected by The hurt within A silent wish A crazy thought How does one kill A mind distraught? An answer looms As dead as leaves It covers life In gasoline A matchstick lit An open sore A fire burns Consumes the core The pain is gone Forevermore When all that's left Ash on the floor

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Susan Palli

Date: 2/27/2010 7:07:00 AM

so vivid and real

Joanna Smith

Date: 1/19/2010 2:20:00 PM

yoni i can't believe the way you put things into words! it's like no matter how long or short your poems are i'm drawn in to the very last word! great write

Tobey Hill

Date: 11/25/2009 1:14:00 PM

A writing in heart's ink....well done..may smiles fill your day........TAH

Date: 11/18/2009 3:17:00 PM

Powerful poem depicting the agony of pain that one can no longer endure. So sad that people get to this point. Your message leaves the reader with a lot to ponder. Well done! Definitely worth more than one read. Thank you for your kind comment. Keep on writing! Karen

Linda-Marie Sweetheart

Date: 11/5/2009 8:46:00 AM

Thankxxx Yoni, John Moses and I are friends already.. and I agree it does not matter which path we choose to get to our ultimate destination.. just enjoy sharing my perception of things... this is an amazing and powerful poem.. enjoy your style.. keep at it... Linda-Marie, P.E.P.S. Sweetie

John Freeman

Date: 11/3/2009 6:12:00 PM

Thanks for your comment today Yoni. Love never forces itself upon anything or anyone. Love works within, behind the outward scenes, that is the miracle of it's power. It's meekness is a gentleman. Love never fails. Always working helping us, whether we realize it or not. Sincerely, Moses

James Fraser

Date: 11/3/2009 2:20:00 PM

Yoni, this just reminded me of the Monks during the Vietnam war, chilling and excellent piece. Soup Mail for you >> James

Ashley Yates

Date: 11/3/2009 11:27:00 AM

Powerful, such an amazing write. So sad the thought of all the suicides but this "When all that's left Ash on the floor" is beyond sorrow its almost as if the person was never there in the first place... Excellent Write.

Jay Loveless

Date: 11/3/2009 9:12:00 AM

Today For Some Reason I Had The Feeling To Read Your Amazing Poetry To Gaze Once Again Into Your Beautiful Soul; Why? I Am Not Sure However I Do Know That Ive Experianced Pain Very Much Like Yours Pain, It Is Still Pain, The Reason I Tie Ribbons Around My Wrists A Fashion Statement To Everyone Else A Battle To Save Myself From Self Inflicted Sin; Tears Even Welling Inside And Each Fraction Of A Moment Of Precious Time Brings Us Closer Alike And Similar In Our Differences, Yet We Both Die Inside

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 10/31/2009 1:11:00 PM

No matter how we try to hide the pain of feeling "unknown," our open sores are always ready to help us self-distruct. Powerful words from my favorite "intense" poet. Now isn't it about time you started writing about love -- the date is approaching I believe, and you know I wish you all the best. Another awesome poem! Love you, Carolyn

Sara Kendrick

Date: 10/30/2009 6:22:00 AM

Living with unconfessed and unforgiven sin (even if it is like sexual molestation where a child feels guilty about what happens even though it was not their responsibility) eats away at a person. I love the way that you approached the topic. Keep writing. Sara

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 10/29/2009 1:23:00 PM

Dreadfull, forelorn image..horrific death....Yoni..drop the IS in the last line. And don't you let that brain of yours go here..fret..fret..fret!..and the moon and me? well, it's simply a punctuation to the days end...an Yin image to the Yang brain. Light & Love..smarty man!

Donna Golden

Date: 10/28/2009 12:35:00 PM

Chilling quatrain, Yoni. You've described inner turmoil and desperation where something has to die in order for life to begin. Wonderfully intriguing piece. Hugs, Donna

John Freeman

Date: 10/28/2009 8:43:00 AM

The hardest and most important decision one will ever make is to slay the ego persona of the mind. But once that decision is made to do so, God will lead one to the his next step. For a man cannot serve two masters! One of the heart and one of the mind. Choose the heart, then Love(God) will be your master, and not greed. God bless Yoni, Sincerely, Bro. Love, Moses

Date: 10/27/2009 1:31:00 PM

So sad when people are in that much pain. The vivid imagery works well. Much for the reader to think about here. Keep on writing. Thank you for your kind comment. Karen

Charmaine Chircop

Date: 10/27/2009 1:01:00 PM

i can feel the pain dear Yoni..you re in my prayers..sunshine might not find you,God;s love will,thrust in him even if you cant undestand anything..very painful..going to my favs..Charma

Carrie Richards

Date: 10/27/2009 8:07:00 AM

The despair that comes from this poem, to rid the mind of pain, seems desperate and real. Well written. ~ Carrie

Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 10/27/2009 8:04:00 AM

~~~ Exceptional ~~~ writing Yoni. I truly ejoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing. Love, Carol