Appleby is my destination
Appleby is my destination.
My SatNav shows me the shortest route,
just ten miles is its estimation,
consulting the map I wouldn't dispute.
Black text on yellow, I spot a sign:
THE ROAD AHEAD IS CLOSED FOR 3 DAYS
LOCAL ACCESS ONLY – now that's a bind.
The DIVERSION signed will cause me delays.
Should I chance it and hope I'll get through.
I'm guessing the work hasn't begun
though maybe the sign will prove to be true;
or perhaps the work's already been done.
Ahead I proceed to see how this plays
but round a bend I come to halt.
the pole they're planting overhead sways.
Struggling to turn having been brought up short
I reverse on this single track road
back to a gate where I sink in the mud.
Deep inside I feel something implode
my hasty choice has been rudely snubbed.
Once Ive completed a six point turn,
the car with mud and dung is splattered.
So back to that junction I return,
my trust in the signage now shattered.
Grudgingly I follow the arrow
then squeezing past a car that's obese
on a road that is far too narrow.
I'm in danger of breaching the peace
as the wing mirror catches and breaks.
Arriving at the top of a brow
I'm confronted by a sign that makes
no sense, leaving me perplexed as to how
to read DIVERSION ENDS. Where next to go?
– Appleby beckons but I'm feeling lost.
As I notice the fuel's running low
so I mutter at the extra cost.
And the insurance with an excess clause,
means the mirror won't be worth a claim.
At last I reach a junction and pause –
Appleby's sign points back whence I came.
I turn to the left and after a mile
left once more to approach the Fair.
Finding somewhere to park takes a while,
with last year a fine I need to beware.
A man flags me down. Is he a farmer?
No. “Can you give me a lift to the Fair?”
Into my hand he presses a fiver
my mood now brightened, I this with you share.
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