Any Editor To Any Poet

These vain attempts at verse could not be droller. Your stuff is less inviting than ebola (and not as catchy). Wordier than Emil Zola, you haven’t got the steam to be a roller. I’ve seen more cutting-edge in Pepsi-Cola. You clearly honed your style in Fuengirola. About as challenging as last year’s “¡Hola!” (I’m sure you’re highly thought of in Angola.) But that aside, I need a favour, mate. The flood of would-be Spensers is in spate. I’d like you to review – that is, donate your time and talent (at the going-rate, which happens to be zero.) Desecrate the pricks who prattle, and the prigs who prate. Denounce, detract. Indulge that gelding hate that wells in all of us. The cut-off date is looming, so get hacking. Don’t be late!