And Then There Was You

I was grasped by the soulless of the dark. Forever pitted and plagued by the weight of the world. I’ve tried…I’ve tried my whole life to dry my tears. Even when I’ve given up and I’ve done so countless times…even when I’ve given up I am not free. I cannot shut it off. I cannot flip the switch like a frown to a smile. Have I ever smiled? I’ve worn a smile but I don’t remember ever smiling. With a new day I have new life but not a new beginning. It continues from the sleepless nights to the rise of the sun. My eyes feel heavy. The world feels heavy. My shoulders always hunched from the weight and I had stopped caring long ago. I use to run…I use to run away from it all, but now I let it capture me. It engulfs me and I drown without a struggle. I see so many things wrong and I ask why. Why is everything wrong? Why can’t it all be right like I used to see it in my head? It cannot be right because it never was and probably never will be. Could it really be so simple? As simple as I’ve pictured it every night when I was a child…perfection, happiness, life. The innocence I wish I never lost. Loss…I could spend years recalling all I’ve lost and how it shadows the meaningless of what I’ve gained. Maybe that’s why everything is so wrong…because the answer is so simple. As I am lost in endless dread of confusion, my mind as hollow as my still heart…a golden light awakens my attention. And then there was you… You…the definition of perfection and the true meaning of a smile. As I write these words I am appalled by its complete and utter smite on paper. I am appalled by what I have witnessed. The false hope of something so pure as love. How weak it made me and how pathetic I lusted for it. As it passed…as you passed I grew but delved deeper into the void of nothingness. I laugh dryly now for I have seen what lies the light hides.