And Maybe I

….and maybe I won’t know your heart’s travels and all those feelings. So much lost, chasing those single moments in our timeline…and maybe I held too tight to a love I found myself having to let go of. Realizing your imprint on my heart will bruise and likely endure. Devastation done and maybe I don’t care…. Fate can be vague, destiny quietly sails, and maybe I view my determination is not enough to even fall short of that special victory. In every dream I have, I see us….my heart confuses my mind with hope …and maybe I chose to feel the weight of hurt while still believing …and maybe I liken Love with existing in your smile once more…. even if only for a moment. It doesn’t help to feel like I’m not enough, like we are far too extraordinary a thing to wish for. You’ve used hard wind and heavy rain as a way to mask my pain and conceal my tears…and maybe I want this threatening storm to deafen and darken my, all too often, tranquil days and nights …and maybe I often hear your voice in the murmur of subtle silence …and maybe I cower at the hopelessness of ever seeing you again …and maybe I feel my deep heartbeats hum like an ambient rhapsody in your life. My life brightens, loses stride and throws away the promise of joy with all our words …and maybe I do smile though we are no longer indomitable, falling 494 days into an empty embrace….weary of the daily torment. Seemingly we fail each other, distance proves to erode, damning words strewn about, life....never idle perseveres, and so, we struggle alone…. embattled by collapse, we place our backs to the coming peril, nothing we’ve done can save us …and maybe I marvel at what’s left of you and I, the cinders, the cracks…. our compelling remnants …and maybe I will find love someday…. contrite and wandering, not far from where we left it …and maybe I….. Written 22 June 2018 in Austin, Texas