An Unrepentant Spitball Marksman

the upshot constituted a figurative straw that broke the virtual camels back where yours truly fingered as scape goat, who meekly, passively, and subserviently felt the stinging crack of wooden, smooth, and oblong paddle and stands pat, asper innocence, though now (myself more than two score years orbitz around sun) remains more defiant for purportedly causing Roberta - not her real name flack and clears that blot (now a composite of petrified spitballs) as a hack writer of poetry, feels jilted like Jack donning many major protagonistic ruffian knack nursery rhyme roles, which fables never didst lack for upstart precocious, kickstarters impish grin, as if he just wolfed down a swiped Bic Mac and goose that laid more than one golden egg McMuffin running from the Giant, with spindle shank for each leg, and sliding down the beanstalk, which didst peg world wide web Marathon record suddenly the envy of Queequeg, which way word ness far off course from the theme of this work, hence hold tight to hazmat bag of poop pin jay dreck, while poetic license allows me to twerk intended story aye (captain... oh captain) moost not shirk, lemme reel yar attention back to the classroom of missus Labosh, hood didst whistle and perk unbeknownst to me, my scrawny derriere unaware what quaint, hence danger didst lurk for letting passivity find me singled out as the bona fide jerk wishing Moby Dick could swallow hook, line and sinker with a slight even Steven crane of his neck, every mother plucking bird brain classmate deemed Scott free, and Chutzpah didst gain while this smart ass wannabe took a crash course, sans weltanschauung "Artful Dodging Spitball Shooting Maven" in the main quite heavy on Physics and Trigonometry as became plane.