William J. Jr. Atfield | + Follow Poet |
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An End To I Believe

An end to ?, I believe

I see your beautiful face in every drop of my tears.
I see your lovely face in every place, throughout our years.
I see your exquisite face haunt the very fiber of my fears.
I see your face upon the walls of my time. 
I see your face every day, knowing you'd never be mine.
I see your face, it hurts me so, yet I want what is sublime. 
I see your beautiful face slowly want to fade.
I see your lovely face and believe, superficially made.
I see your exquisite face empty and staid.
My heart beats to the incessant pounding of tear drops,
upon this tired old face, expressing the pain of loss, 
the loss of what I never really had in the first place,
it all comes to the surface and is read all over my face.
Why ?, was I so receptive, so willing to sacrifice
my heart, my soul, my spirit, put them in the vice-
grip- of love, let it squeeze out every drop of life,
chop them up into tiny pieces with the Butcher's knife.

B.J."A"
September 6th 2009
 
An end to ?, I believe
Tue, Sep 15, 2009

I have always felt that you, never could care.
I hoped, but you never ever pretended to care.
It is now so clear, you will never be there.
That's my life, that's you, that's fate, so unfair.

There are these great, and heavy chains that seem to bind my heart to the thoughts of you, they're dragging me down.

The ride I took was as good as it could be, but the links that bind my mind to the thoughts of you are not very sound.

I can now see - with eyes wide open, not blinded by my love for you - that with you I will not see , love found.

My heart, my soul, my every moment in that beautiful dream, my life, my thoughts, you fill all, you surround.

Copyright © William J. Jr. Atfield | Year Posted 2013

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Debbie Knapp Date: 6/17/2013 5:28:00 PM Such a sad thing to love one with all your heart, mind, and body, to not have such love returned. One can't help who or how much or even how deeply they love. We can choose to settle for what ever reason knowing the love will never be given back the way we freely give or choose to move on. It is a gamble as to what to do. My heart breaks to read such a sad poem my friend. Login to Reply William J. Jr. Atfield Date: 6/18/2013 11:50:00 AM .”, how true !, as are most others my Dear, they where the cathartic medicine, Dr. Catharsis prescribed to carry me through and passed, ( even if it was a long analytical journey ) after the realizations that the Polish Princess, and then my Chinese Lotus Blossom, would never love me. William J. Jr. Atfield Date: 6/18/2013 11:49:00 AM My Dear Debbie : I would like to thank you for all your thoughtful comments, for your deep concerns for my well being, for your touching emotions ( “ I like the glass you look through to find the multi facet rainbow.”, “ I wonder at your life my friend.”, “ My heart breaks to read such a sad poem my friend.” ) as expressed - in the above quotes -, Debbie, for some of my life’s journeys. “ such a sad poem my friend.”, William J. Jr. Atfield Date: 6/18/2013 11:48:00 AM Che sara sara !, that is life Debbie, for some of us and so it was better to have loved and lost, then to have never have loved at all, and so my Dear, you need not “ I wonder at your life my friend. ”, for I have “ I hope you have a fun and happy one. ” travelled many a long and winding road during my long and checkered career and even if it has been and is a roller coaster ride, it all ( for the most part ) is good and I am – thank you - having “ a fun and happy one. ” . B. J. “A” 2 ( Bill . )