An Adverse World 7 Plus 7
Living disobediently and having damaging depression was my past
I was an alcoholic drug addict that wanted satisfaction to last
I’ve been constantly abused mentally, physically, emotionally and in all aspects of life as a whole
Will I ever be free from despondency and loneliness? I am as strong as the fire amongst the coal
It hurts me to say all this, but at the same time it is helpful and healing
Dealing with this distress and anger inside isn’t completely appealing,
But it’s getting me through the day with my head up above the surface
It’s slowly but surely getting me out of my comfort zone and making me feel less worthless —
Rinsing away my saturating sadness and magnetizing madness
Wincing in pain and screaming in agony as I ponder upon the old days at play
When I used to be molested by misery, shame and hopelessness
There are ways to complete my mindset with your love on my mind all the way
Pound to the rhythm of my heart and mend what’s been torn apart
From the start, you’ve been tattooed upon my heart of bittersweet art
The past should be left in the past, in the past, but we should learn from it…neglected by awful fear and rebellion
We shouldn’t forget it, but forgive it entirely so we won’t feel regret…sorry that my wrongdoings led me to oblivion
I have been miserable and alone like an outcast…
Many a times, I feel like this present life is dying away so fast
It’s disappearing in destructive avarice and greed…
While I’m trying to replenish my nourishing family seed
Been feeling fatigued lately, despite my daily anxiety affecting me
Frankly, my post-tramautic stress disorder has been flaring vigorously
Remember to believe in me and be honest with me, even during hardships
By making me clean and sober without a smear of dismay as we lock lips
Life, in general, is getting harder and harder by the minute
Much like my slow-ass progress that makes me throw a fit
Recovery of past addictions can be so hard to deal with time and time again, love of mine
Negativity and its shenanigans rants on in my mindset and out my mouth; I’m like a pen without its ink and it irks me, but I’ll be just fine
Truthfulness takes a long time to fathom and accept, then understand it completely
Things and people of the past and living this life headstrong gets totally out of hand relentlessly
I rely on my strengths and try not to deny my ongoing weaknesses,
Regaining my trust firsthand towards my endless reminiscences
In the recesses of my rather sulky, lonely mind,
Despite my anger and distress, leaving me behind,
I want and need to make progress by living this adverse world with you
You complete me and I complete you and you know it and adore me so true
Remember, persevere and learn from the past
The future adverse world is revealing so fast
Focus on goal-oriented thinking and be with me for an eternity…I want to complete you with my endearing, adoration liberty
We feel comfortable in our recovery and now, we must forgive the remnants of you and I’s despondency so we can be free
The manifestation of our marvelous future adverse world is a glorious gift and a tragedy in reverse honestly
Overcoming the flashbacks in my mind’s back burner as racing, revengeful muses drown in my veins of plenty
Live another tomorrow with me and my lovely daughter, for you complete me with your fearless, bountiful beauty
Tear away the sorrow and stitch me with your flawless, unconditional love like you always do so wondrously
Paranoia got me under pressure
I still adore you beyond measure
It is nighttime and I’m feeling as vacant as a drum
Underneath my skin…where I feel numb and dumb…
I sink deep when I’m swimming in the deep
I think of counting sheep when I’m screaming silently
I speak words of foolish wisdom — words I reap
Thinking to myself — will I ever be free? Will you ever complete me?
There’s a whirlwind inside of my cranium
There’s a monsoon inside of my mind’s eye once more
There’s a hurricane inside of my heart’s ribcage
There’s a hidden joy inside my voice of inner rage
I’m hearing within these walls of sheer shame
I came undone as I drove that road of blame
I’m steering my wheels as the ocean’s wandering waves
Grow ever so thicker and wider, creating aquatic caves
~inspired by and dedicated to AJP~
Copyright © J.W. Earnings | Year Posted 2021
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