Am I repeating myself

I hardly even know her and yet I miss her presence I wish to see her smiling face and fill her arms with presents I wonder if she could ever hear within this voice of mine how at times with silent hope I wish that she were here This place I make beside me that efforts and hopes keep clear I save for her one day I hope to make that clear I pretend to hear her heart beat within the falling of rains and wonder what I'll have to beat for with in my heart she reigns Indebted I am to feelings for what they give on loan to ward away that awful feeling of being all alone How long have I this suffering how long will it last I'll find comfort it discovering that I will be her last Though now she's only a dream a certain deceptive pain That I must see walking away through the windowpane The stories I would tell myself while on my back I have lied To me an epic tragedy to find my dreams have lied I search your feelings with guesses and within your soul I've pried and with every smile you give me I find desires filled with pride It's such a heavy burden my feeling with which your loved But what a glorious feeling it is when your being loved (For Christy)