Am I a Flower?

I'm hoping for Heaven's promises, 
as I cross my fingers 
and cry out to 
the One who made me. 
The One who'd never deny me, 
Even though I say I'm sorry 
over and over again 
for the way I behave. 
Will I always be a bad girl, 
pouting in the corner 
as I'm put in time out? 
Will I ever be completely pure? 
Let me shed some more skin, 
as I nail it to the wood. 
My flesh is my prison, 
it keeps me hungry and naked, 
in a dark place where there is no sunlight 
I need sunlight to grow, 
for I am just a flower, 
not a bad little girl, right? 
Are flowers imperfect? 
I don't know. I need to stomp on this cute little monkey, 
stomp on it 
until it's black and blue, 
before it grows bigger than me, 
and no longer cute, 
but massive, and ready 
to terrorize 
my sweet and blessed world. 
My mind 
can be crude, creepy, and crooked.
my worst enemy.
ready to destroy 
all that is righteous. 
I can't wash this dirt off my skin, 
oh how I long to be a child again. 
Hold me as if I am. 
I am a broken little doll, 
will you mend the pieces? 
I light a candle for you, 
for me, 
for our future. 
I love you so much. 
Let me escape in your arms, 
I need you here with me, 
I'm gonna bury my bones 
into our bed of bliss
forever.
Remind me I belong to you, 
that I'm your baby. 
Let's pray for the snow 
that we will never see. 
I can at least dream that we will. 
For the One that made me 
says He can make me white as snow, 
He can wash my sins away. 
Dear Friend, do not let me go. 
I'm lost in the wilderness, 
I run to the man I love....
I call out to my friends, 
I curse myself 
but only You have the way out 
of these dark woods 
with all its ferocious animals. 
Help me 
find the way out. 
Give me shelter....
Copyright © | Year Posted 2007

Poem

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Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace