Altar

I sat on the bench and the tears began to flow Knowing that was only one place I needed to go But for some strange reason my feet wouldn't walk And at the same time my mouth couldn't talk I desperately wanted to get to that place But I was blinded by my tears that covered my face I knew if I got there then everything would be ok At the same time worried I wouldn't know what to say What would people think, would they judge me Those were the thoughts in my mind I could see I visualised the result and the difference it made Yet I was still struggling behind my façade I felt so dirty, ashamed and very unworthy How could He possibly love someone like me? These were all the thoughts going around and around Knowing at that place the answer will be found I struggled and wrestled to move my feet Unsurprisingly I still remained in my seat I could feel body heart beating faster than it should Reminding myself that I’m worthless and no good Yet the desire was there, the urgency so strong Could I really go to that place knowing I’d done wrong? I was scared that I’d be judged and be called a hypocrite So instead on that bench I did remain there and sit I knew I should go; there was no doubt in my mind Surely if someone went before me, I could follow behind He spoke again with sincerity in his voice Why was it so hard for me to make this choice The call was coming to an end and I felt myself falter Why am I hindering myself from going to the altar?