Alone At Last

Alone at last so I can think and plan, About never becoming an old man. I feel guilty and ashamed that I feel this way, But it's getting harder and harder to keep it at bay. I’ve said my goodbyes now there's no time to mope, I've chosen my method, hanging by rope. It's almost time and I feel happy and ready, Then suddenly I feel guilty and my heart feels heavy. How can I do this to the few who truly love me, It will mess up their lives and they will never be free. But what hurts the most is thought of tomorrow, The fake smiles and the feelings of sorrow. How can I bring happiness and joy when i feel this way, I will have to end my own life another day.