Alone

I sit beneath the tree and gaze at the sweet cherry blossoms that cover the floor, Then I slant my hat over my eyes and take comfort in the solitude, The pure bliss of silence and a soft spring breeze blowing through the air like a lost cloud, Trying to find its way through oblivion. As my head drops slowly to my shoulder I think of how my life would be had I stuck to my old ways, A disappointment to everyone, slouched out in a cardboard box down the back of some stinking ally, To drunk to give a damn, down to my last swallow and headed straight for Hell, And I’m grateful that there was someone out in the world willing to give me a second chance, And I think how happy my life is now because of her. All my friends drift through my mind, the good ones, and bad one’s and the old one’s, Then try as I might I just can’t figure out what they see in me, why would anyone want me as a friend? I’m nothing special, I have no “real” talents, I’m not “hard”, I don’t drink, smoke or take drugs, I even have a lame sense of humour, also a bit warped in the head but still, Then I start to laugh at myself, I’m certainly not normal… ok define normal, but I mean in the common sense, maybe they like me because of that? Whatever the reasons maybe, I’m glad they chose me, After all, you are your friends. I ponder on questions that I feel need to be answered, like why is it if you go out on the street and kill a lode of people you’re a mass murderer BUT if you join the army and kill a lode of the “Enemy” you’re a war “hero“? Or would Jesus ever accept the antichrist as his brother? Does the all Seeing Eye ever get any sleep? And am I the only one who thinks that the Devil is just God’s angry side? Maybe these are just the ramblings of a twisted mind, but it’s my mind and I like it this way. My memories push at the back of my mind and force me to remember the past, As they all come flooding my vision I start to cry tears of anger for the man I was, Tears of sorrow and shame for all the people I’ve hurt, then I shed a single tear of joy for all the people who’s life’s I’ve changed for the better. Then as I start to rise from by place of rest I wonder the hardest question of all….. Even when there is nobody there are we ever truly “Alone”?