All I was I am no more

In my suicidal mind. I search for light. I see none for hope I'm blind. as I dig and dig. I just keep getting deeper. My mind is in torment. P wanting to meet my keeper. Would it lead me to peace to a better place in time. Or send me to live in hell. For the times I've crossed the line. I am right now. Soon I'll be no more. Will I be missed at all. After closing life's door. As of now I see no resolve. No answer to my pain. If my hand were loaded. I'd put a bullet in my brain there it would remain