Alexithymia

Alex is not an ordinary woman troubled with depression and autism struggling with transgender identity she lives in her own world a bubble of disorientation and discomfort unable to reach out to others when pain gets unbearable and as days and insomniac nights pass by she hovers on the brink of suicide and self-harm not able to express the emotions that torment her the inner world resembles a mine field shrapnel and debris galore short fuses ready to light a smouldering battle ground guns and grenades blazing as she fights her own battle against her persona and mistaken belief of being unworthy guilty and at fault when in reality she is own of the most beautiful people you will ever be blessed to meet phone calls unanswered messages unread a vacuum of no responses echo of darkness at lightning speed of despair it does not help her that I can feel her pain reason her plight absorb some of her confusion could carry some of her baggage take the weight of her shoulder my own issues are mostly luxury problems some dealt by life with uncertain blows others of my very own making my swedges and brawls are light weighted affairs moderate melancholia offers a strange comfort zone on their own and I should not have to complain about lack of purpose when all my material needs are easily met and a slump here or their seems near insignificant and yet I wish sometimes that just for a few moments I could simply reflect and thereafter feel nothing at all 08th February 2023