Albert's Family's Eulogy

We’d just buried poor old Peter and we’re back now at his wake, and of course it’s sad to see him gone but it’s great we can partake, in giving comfort to his widow now that the hardest part is done - funerals are really small reunions - for kin and friends less one. These are the times to catch up with the mates from long gone days, and it must be nearly thirty years since Bert and I had chased the crays. The mists of time have swallowed up Dick and my working situation, but now the three of us are once again indulging in a conversation. We laughed about the characters who once graced us on the clock, and we brought up Union matters that gave the management a shock. So with a few quite beers now in us we’re neglecting the deceased, until we were joined by what I’d call the roving friendly Priest. And tête-à-tête that we’d indulged moved back to poor old Pete, with questions laced with afterlife when God turns up the heat, especially after what we’d heard in eulogy that filled the kirk, about the splendid life Pete lived before descending to the murk. The Priest had listened quite intent, then with I s’pose a sombre tone, he put a question to us three about, the day St. Peter’s on the phone, “When you’re lying in your casket with family mourners gathered ‘round. What would you like to hear them say before I place you underground?” Dick rubbed his chin a mite, responding then with his desire, “I would like to hear them say that, because I stoked the boilers fire, the factory had the driest steam in any plant for miles about - Yeah, I’d really like to hear them say, I’m the greatest boiler man no doubt”. All ears then turned toward me, intent on hearing what I’ll say. So I took my time to bumble over what I’ve done in me day … “I would like to hear my family say Dad, it was as smooth as silk, and we really miss your lunch box filled with that A-grade powdered milk!” Albert laughed but looked embarrassed, thinking it’s a shot at him, for every day his Gladstone bag was filled up to the brim, but then he frowned and gave a nod and moved away from his disproving, “I guess I’d like to hear them say - ‘Gee whiz!’ Albert’s flamin’ moving!”