Addiction - a Nightly Ritual

Although even in childhood, the nightmares sometimes came They grew far worse when Dan died, and I shouldered the blame He followed me when I chose to swim across a lake In the middle he cried out, “This swim I cannot make!” Engaged for just one day, wedding plans had not been made My attempts to save him will never from my mind fade It was then the nightmares came nightly; treatment I sought And I became reliant on the first pills I bought Amitriptyline, a well-known mood elevator Helped alleviate bad dreams, but my need grew greater I cannot sleep a wink without my medication I have tossed and turned and cried out to our Creator When I run out, I sometimes wish my life would soon end On nothing and no one do I desire to depend Even with the pill, I can wake up screaming at night But if you take them away, no dreams will I invite *Written August 22, 2014 by Carolyn Devonshire