Jan Allison Poet Sedoka

Notes About The Poem

Abandoned At the Altar

ABANDONED AT THE ALTAR


You cast me aside
Like an unloved old rag doll
You no longer wanted me.
Jilted as your bride
Your betrayal took its toll
Where is my apology?

No explanation
Has been uttered by your lips - 
I was waiting at the church!
Humiliation
As my life is torn to strips …
forsaken, left in the lurch.

Contest: Sedoka Contest
Sponsor Laura Loo
Checked with how many syllables 5,7,7,5,7,7 

01~04~16

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Vladislav Raven February 12, 2016 at 7:25 PM Hi Jan, another excellent write from your pen. Your words paint a sorrowful vision that is so true for some. The deep emotions sing true and they do touch the heart of he reader, bringing forth deep emotions. The sorrowful Imagery feels so real. The picture also adds to the words Jan. Always at your best, an excellent write. A seven and into my faves goes this Sedoka. Hugs....MIKE. XX Jan Allison February 13, 2016 at 6:43 AM Thanks so much for your lovely comment Mike I do appreciate your support:-) hugs Jan xx

Poet Destroyer A January 28, 2016 at 9:09 PM Jan, Congrats on your interesting win. Love LINDA -- Jan Allison January 29, 2016 at 7:54 AM Thanks Linda:-) hugs Jan xx

Sara Kendrick January 25, 2016 at 1:26 PM Enjoyed reading this one..I could feel the brides emotion..Congrats on your win..Sara Jan Allison January 26, 2016 at 1:45 PM Thanks so much Sara:-) hugs Jan xx

Dan Cwiak January 20, 2016 at 3:56 PM No apology needed for this winner Jan. Great write. Congrats on your win. Jan Allison January 23, 2016 at 8:27 AM Thanks Dan:-) Hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich January 19, 2016 at 3:59 PM oh yes, I remember this one, Jan. Big congrats. You did a "story" one like I did!! Jan Allison January 23, 2016 at 8:26 AM Thanks Andrea I enjoyed this challenge:-) Hugs Jan xx

Joseph May January 18, 2016 at 6:34 PM Congrats on a great win Jan Jan Allison January 23, 2016 at 8:26 AM Thanks Joseph:-) Hugs Jan xx

Judy Konos January 18, 2016 at 3:27 PM Congratulations....on your Number Won! Jan Allison January 23, 2016 at 8:26 AM Thanks Judy I wunned :-) :-) Hugs Jan xx

Skat A January 18, 2016 at 10:34 AM JAN, Congrats on your "SEDOKA FORM (Rhymed) winning poem." love SKAT** Jan Allison January 23, 2016 at 8:25 AM Thanks Skat:-) Hugs Jan xx

Beautiful Scars January 18, 2016 at 10:02 AM I loved this Jan. It is different and it really stuck out because of that. Thank you for being a part of my contest! *smiles*-luloo Jan Allison January 23, 2016 at 8:25 AM Thanks LuLoo I love the challenge of the contests to stretch my poetic ability:-) Hugs Jan xx

Judy Konos January 13, 2016 at 12:52 PM Don't know what a Sedoka is but this is a great poem to accommodate it.... Jan Allison January 13, 2016 at 3:49 PM It's my first attempt Judy I just go with the flow of my pen:-) hugs Jan xx

Scott Thirtyseven January 9, 2016 at 6:00 AM Nice spirited write. Best of luck in the contest. Jan Allison January 9, 2016 at 8:50 AM Thanks Scott:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper January 8, 2016 at 8:34 PM Well done :) good luck in the contest! Jan Allison January 9, 2016 at 8:50 AM Thanks Eve:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich January 6, 2016 at 8:32 PM hey, WELL DONE on this challenge, Jan. I did one about a lady too!! (yet to be posted of course) How many poems do YOU have on the back burner now? Jan Allison January 7, 2016 at 10:45 AM My reserves are low and my muse is on holiday:-( hugs jan xx

Paul Callus January 6, 2016 at 4:33 PM Who would dare do that to you, dear Jan?!! It's his loss after all:) You have done a lovely Sedoka, and the rhyming is excellent. ~ Hugs // paul Jan Allison January 7, 2016 at 10:44 AM Thankfully pure fiction for me Paul:-) hugs Jan xx

White Sage January 5, 2016 at 4:19 PM excellent write and a nice picture, that's why I do advice marriages to be filled with some securities, at least if the guy realised how tough marriage could be, and tries to run...you know...your writing is superb dear Jan Jan Allison January 5, 2016 at 4:22 PM Thanks so much for you lovely comment:-) hugs Jan xxx

Harry Horsman January 5, 2016 at 4:18 PM Oh i love this form, and you do it proud Jan..love this,,happy new year Jan Allison January 5, 2016 at 4:22 PM Thanks Harry its my first attempt at this form I do love the contests to inspire us and challenge us:-) Happy New Year:-) hugs Jan xx

Dan Cwiak January 5, 2016 at 3:19 PM Terrific write, Jan. I am not very familiar with the form, but I will have to look it up and perhaps give it a try. (Only because you have done such a marvelous expressiveness with it.) Good luck in the contest. Jan Allison January 5, 2016 at 3:28 PM Aww thanks Dan - it is my first attempt at the form : )I have to go with the flow of my muse I can write happy or sad and it is no reflection on my feelings just depends on how my stroppy muse is at the time lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Eric Boddie January 5, 2016 at 2:08 PM when a bride is jilted....all the flowers become wilted....then the scorn brings aggression....which is done with a profound expression....like slitting tires or car windows destroyed by bricks....that's why I stick with God because drama makes me sick....nice write jan....;) Jan Allison January 5, 2016 at 2:45 PM Thanks for the lovely comment Eric:-) hugs Jan xx

Nette Onclaud January 5, 2016 at 12:20 PM simply stunning despite the slight gloom, jan.. haven;t seen this contest yet.. huggs and more smiles! Jan Allison January 5, 2016 at 12:51 PM Thanks for the lovely comment Nette - it is a sad poem but I have to go with the flow of my pen:-) hugs jan xx

CayCay Godwin January 5, 2016 at 9:15 AM Oh, so good. I like this and think it should do well. I'm holding off a bit on posting mine. So far, your muse has been most generous this year .... CayCay Jan Allison January 5, 2016 at 12:19 PM My muse was misbehaving and came up with a sad poem - hopefully she will start getting the humour back soon:-) hugs Jan xx

Demetrios Trifiatis January 5, 2016 at 5:16 AM A bride's nightmare incarnated in a brilliant writing, dear Jean. Good luck! Jan Allison January 5, 2016 at 12:19 PM Thanks Demetrios:-) hugs Jan xx

Afolabi Muideen January 5, 2016 at 4:21 AM A sad write, though brilliant. Good luck within............A.M. Jan Allison January 5, 2016 at 12:19 PM Thanks so much Afolabi and Happy new year:-) Hugs Jan xx

Skat A January 4, 2016 at 6:57 PM the pain that is bestowed upon the groomless bride, his loss honestly it'll make a woman strong within aside from feeling the hurt .... enjoyed your entry it was a pleasure reading:) Jan Allison January 5, 2016 at 1:27 AM Thanks Skat:-) hugs Jan xx

Emile Pinet January 4, 2016 at 5:48 PM The poem flows with a steady beat and the words say everything by evoking thoughts within the reader's consciousness. This is a well penned poem that not only describes a state of mind , but makes an attempt to instill such thoughts within the reader's mind through great imagery and triggered emotions. Emile. Jan Allison January 4, 2016 at 5:50 PM I always enjoy your comments Emile - you always take time to analyse what a writer is hoping to portray:-) hugs Jan xx

Dalia Shahein January 4, 2016 at 5:41 PM Beautiful words my dear, glad I've stopped by to read it....hugs / / :) dalia Jan Allison January 4, 2016 at 5:42 PM Thank you:-) hugs jan xx

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