Notes About The Poem
For Robert James Liguors' Zoltar Speaks Poetry Contest
A Zoltar Encounter
I stood in front of a Zoltar machine
having very little money.
Before I could put a dollar bill in,
I heard: “Can I help you, Honey?”
“Excuse me? What?” I said with a start.
“How are you talking to me?”
That crazy guy in gypsy guise
laughed and said, “Fiddle-dee-dee.”
“Fiddle-dee-dee?” I then replied.
“Is that the best you’ve got?
Tell you what, can I get my fortune
whether I pay or not?”
“I’ll tell YOU what,” he said to me,
“If you’ll do a little dance,
I’ll do your fortune. It’ll be free.
Are you ready to take your chance?”
“I need some music if I’m to dance,”
I said though I found him so weird.
His eyes were creepy moving around
and he had an ugly beard.
“Ok,” he said, “I’ll put on a tune.
What will you dance to for me?”
I looked around. If I were to dance,
I wanted nobody to see.
“How about ‘Gypsy Woman,’ I said.
“That seems appropriate.”
To this he replied, “And for you, dear,
I’ll also reveal your weight.”
“Now, listen here,” I said to him.
“A woman’s weight you dare not say.
Thus a wise fortune teller you can’t be.”
And with that, I walked away.
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