A Visit From Our Snobbish Relatives
The lunch dishes were still in the sink
We were having cans of beer to drink
Then came the sound we did abhor
The opening of an automobile door
“Just peek and see who’s out there.
For any visitors, I sure don’t care.”
My wife’s request I was quick to obey
And what I saw brought me dismay
It was my snooty cousin and her mate
A visit from them I so intensely hate
They never phone before they call
To do that, I wouldn’t have the gall
As soon as the two got inside,
In her usual way she did deride
“Oh, I see with no staff you’re getting by.
Why helpless little me wouldn’t even try.
I admire those who don’t feel they must
Try to keep away every speck of dust.”
“It’s sensible to have such a small place.
A big house like ours is truly a disgrace.
Everything here is so easy to reach,
Like our A-frame cottage on the beach.”
“And as soon as we did arrive,
I saw your same car in the drive.
In buying vehicles you have been wise
We aren’t able to find such good buys.”
“But like most of our best friends,
We drive a new Mercedes-Benz.
We should be sensible like you
And make a ten-year-old Ford do.”
“And do you still work for Sears?
For investments you have no fears.
I’ve thought it to be best for ages
Just to work for regular wages.”
“And, even with our huge portfolio,
We worry where the market will go.
“Where will you go on your vacation?
We will go to another foreign nation.
We think it will be Paris in the spring
I’ve found you can buy most anything.”
“Not that I would ever dare to gloat,
But that’s where I got my mink coat.
And the dress that I’m wearing now
Was worth two thousand, I avow.”
She said to my wife with a sneer,
“Who is your courtier, my dear?
Your outfit is so charmingly sweet.
And your hairstyle is always neat.”
Wife: “Oh, two I have of those
They design all my clothes
Always with them I’ve stuck
Names are Sears and Roebuck.”
“And my hair stylist as a rule
Is a student at the beauty school.
It’s because the cost is so low
That to the place I always go.”
Our visitor gave a pitying smile
She had spewed enough bile
On the time she splendidly checked
Her watch with diamonds bedecked
“Well, folks, we must be on the run.
Visiting with you is ever so much fun.
If toward our home you should begin,
I’ll work so very hard to pencil you in.”
And as the elegant two glided away,
Both of us smiled and said, “Horray.”
I hope we never come to have such wealth
That we have such a high opinion of self.
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.
Please
Login
to post a comment
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a
Premium Membership.
