A Visit By the Mother-In-Law

A Visit by the Mother-in-Law By Elton Camp My mother-in-law lives in another state Her annual visits I most intensely hate For her daughter, I wasn’t good enough So, from the old crone I get lots of guff “To Mother you better be nicer this time. She will regret calling you a ball of slime.” Unless wife I obey and welcome the grouch, Then for two weeks, I’ll sleep on the couch So I did everything that my wife had asked My welcome of Mom Bea was unsurpassed I had a vase of flowers waiting in her room And I was careful as to how dress and groom I made sure the yard was all mowed and neat And practiced the best way our guest to greet Nothing at all must go wrong on this trip I was determined not to make a single slip “Come in, Mother Bea, and stay a long while. Your visits are welcome and make me smile.” But I will admit that it almost made me gag To have to talk so sweet to that mean old hag “Son, I am so glad to learn you feel that way. I feel ashamed and don’t know what to say.” I told her that the problems we had had before I’d see that they never will happen any more Our four-year-old son from his room came out To see just what all the friendly talk was about “Hello there you sweet little dear, Gram is here. Into this dismal home you do bring such cheer.” Joey then ran over and climbed up into her lap Around him, Mother Bea her arms did wrap Our son looked at me and so loudly he calls “You’re right, Dad, she smells like mothballs.”