A Vicious Doggy War

I am not a dog lover, although dogs are cute, I'd rather have none of these around the house...the last one I had was a dark-blonde dachshund: he refused to obey a single rule, he wanted to eat crackers and cheese! Dogs lovers, I apologize for having made such a comment... for having said an awful thing about my disobedient dog; I still love dogs, but I've no patience to train them: while they run around and bark at a burning log! I agree they should abide by those strict rules, but a soft guy like me simply is unable to enforce them! Dogs are like gorgeous children that some adore more than a gem, and if they rip apart your expensive kids' stuffed toys, don't punish them with harsh words and alienate them; readers, don't flood my inbox with outrageous comments: you have your likes and dislikes; even perfect characters have a rip! I hope other dachshunds haven't heard what I said about Ranger, they will surely show up at my door and start a vicious doggy war! Ah! Here they come! I must call the Animal Attack Hotline...help!!!