A Thoroughly Modern Monster
A Thoroughly Modern Monster
It’s hard to be a monster
Living in a modern world.
I’ve only got claws, not fingers,
And can’t even unlock my phone…
An Apple is no longer something to munch
And Orange turned into Everything Everywhere.
I now can’t eat runners for lunch
As I can’t even bite through their lycra!
It’s hard being a stylish monster
When you’re bald, spotty and covered in slobber.
I tried dating on tinder, but just got swiped left,
So now I think I’ll just not bother.
It’s impossible to buy clothes
As I seem to scare the staff,
So I’ve taken to living in the zoo
Hiding naked near the giraffes.
The animals don’t mind me.
The elephants like my smell.
If you spot me, do me a favour,
Just promise me you won’t tell.
Shhh!
copyright Emily Joshua
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