Joanmarie Peranteau | + Follow Poet |
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A Tattered and Fraying Fabric

Curled up in a comfy chair,
a shoe box filled with years
of captured memories in her lap;
memories of motherhood - so bitter sweet.
Her smile turns down -
the wet of her sadness drips from her face.
The chair gives her no comfort
for the paper images in the box 
screams the truth of what was and what is.
 
Sadly; her once tightly woven fabric
weaved unconditionally, thread by thread
with bare hands and God's help,
is now...tattered and fraying,
never to be restored to what it once was.
And from this tattered and fraying fabric
is a unique and vital thread missing...
a thread  that can never be replaced. 

So bitter out weighs the sweet.
Captured memories are stored away.
Head in hands she prays....desperately she prays....
that what remains of this fabric can be salvaged.

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Cona Adams Date: 12/18/2014 1:22:00 PM hello again, JoanMarie. Like you, I am uneducated in creative writing. I studied Accounting, Psychology, and History in college, and only managed one year at that, working full-time and taking classes at night. But I've had much help from local poets. For help, I'll give you an example: in line two, remove the comma after the word 'with' and break your line after the word 'years' - it won't take you long to get the hang of it. You're a good writer. Write on! Login to Reply

Joanmarie Peranteau Date: 12/18/2014 11:38:00 AM Thank you so much Cona, your reading this write, rating it, encouraging comment and your suggestions are much appreciated and helpful. As I mentioned before I am not educated in anyway in creative writing and that includes how and when to punctuate in this type of writing. I would like to attend some sort of class on this subject but presently time does not permit. When you say end a line with a strong word, what does that mean? Also, where should I have not punctuate on this write? Login to Reply Joanmarie Peranteau Date: 12/18/2014 11:46:00 AM Ooooops, I made a mistake, I put my reply to Cona in my comment box....

Cona Adams Date: 12/18/2014 10:28:00 AM An easy six, Joanmarie. Yes, it is free verse, and your subject is top notch. Everyone has faced loss and gone through the flood of memories which causes us to question ourselves and wonder about the future. Nothing brings them flooding back more than looking at photos of happier times. Just a couple of tiny tips. Always end your lines with a strong word, and watch your punctuation. Too much punctuation detracts from the message. Login to Reply Joanmarie Peranteau Date: 12/18/2014 11:41:00 AM "Thank you so much Cona, your reading this write, rating it, encouraging comment and your suggestions are much appreciated and helpful. As I mentioned before I am not educated in anyway in creative writing and that includes how and when to punctuate in this type of writing. I would like to attend some sort of class on this subject but presently time does not permit. When you say end a line with a strong word, what does that mean? Also, where should I have not punctuate on this write?"

Darlene Gifford Date: 12/16/2014 9:54:00 AM An emotional and well written poem. A mother's memories, as you say, are bittersweet. Especially in loss. Reminds me of my poem, "Grandma's New Shawl" Login to Reply Joanmarie Peranteau Date: 12/17/2014 8:19:00 AM Thank you Darlene.... I read your poem and left a comment.