Karen Ruff Poet Rhyme

A Sweetheart For Duck

(This is a children’s poem, ages 3-4, designed for a picture story book. ) 

 
The Duck flew down to the sea, he did
	Hoping to find a mate;
But the wind came up 
And the waves were rough
	And the duck, he was too late.

The Duck flew into the town, he did,
	And he waddled down the street.
The children clapped
And the pigeons flapped,
	But no sweetheart did he meet.

The Duck flew into the woods, he did,
	A true love he’d surely see;
The Squirrels chattered
And the Branches rattled,
	But no ducks were in the trees.

The Duck went up to the fair, he did,
	And lots of ducks he found.
But they were all behind 
Big ribbons and signs
	With people all around.

The Duck went home to the pond, he did,
	It would be a lonely spring;
When what did he see 
But a splendid she
	Preening her satiny wing.

Spring and Summer were happy times,
	The Ducks paddled on and on.
And ten little ducklings
Paddled behind
	At home on the farmer’s pond.

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Peter Dome January 8, 2014 at 3:19 PM Wonderful. made me want to put on my jimjams with a mug of ovaltine and climb in bed for a good bedtime story. well done. loved it. I am a bit over 4 years old though Pete. Peter Dome January 8, 2014 at 8:11 PM Brilliant. well done. best of luck. Pete. Karen Ruff January 8, 2014 at 7:54 PM I have an illustrator, believe it or not. Can hardly wait to see it in print. It's not my first. I wrote one years ago title "Flowers for Whizzle, but that one doesn't rhyme.

David Williams January 8, 2014 at 8:13 AM Hi Karen this is very good, it flows well but if I may say it loses a tiny beat in the last line of the second stanza the word "sweetheart" is a beat too long, great work though….David Karen Ruff January 8, 2014 at 8:24 AM Actually, the line has the same number of syllables as all of the others except for the last line of the 4th. I don't have a problem with an occasional irregular line. Very few poets have exactly the same number of beats and syllables in every line of a given poem. For now, I like it the way it is. Thanks though.

Steven Clark January 8, 2014 at 7:02 AM Karen I just posted another please see if I did any better. Also I am not sure how to email you something but I'll get some figuring it out. Thank you for the help Steve Steven Clark January 8, 2014 at 7:04 AM help is what I meant to say and what I truly need

Steven Clark January 8, 2014 at 5:30 AM Karen first I would like to say this poem is awesome. I hope to do as well. Also, thanks for reading my poems and you kind advice. Although I went to catholic school the rules of grammar have escaped me I will try to do as you suggest. thanks Steve Karen Ruff January 8, 2014 at 6:03 AM Steve, first, thanks for reading mine too. It isn't a matter of grammar. It's just the punctuation. You tend to put a comma after every little phrase, and it distracts from your meaning. You don't need a comma unless a pause is required in order to understand the line. Many poets use very little punctuation in a poem, far less than would be requires in ordinary prose. If you want me too, you can send me a poem and I'll return it to you be email so you can see what I'm talking about.