A Surreality
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Sorry to always be harping on this; but this is MY reality and it never goes away.
Oral phantoms (a sub-category of burning tongue syndrome):
https://www.popsci.com/oral-phantom-taste-burning-hallucination/#:~:text=These%20hallucinations%2C%20or%20phantoms%2C%20are,feelings%20is%20still%20a%20mystery.
Walking on a cruise ship am I.
I’m walking when already there is motion.
But actually, I’m walking through my house.
(not my fortune to be cruising on the ocean).
Warm currents like a breeze move down my back.
Yet I’m inside. No fan’s on. This happens often.
Sometimes wiggling worms are the tingles down my back.
Perhaps at last they’ll all be gone once I’m in my coffin.
And eating! Oh, the pleasure it became.
Currents also mingled with my bites of food.
That strange sensation left me thankfully.
Then a new thing came along to make me brood.
The unnatural taste I had had – now it’s becoming not quite as bad.
My constantly having to swallow it down happens now less frequently.
But now I’ve no lips! (well of course, anybody can see them).
My condition evolved? Neuropathy’s moved in on me!
Oral phantoms are haunting me now.
I found this on Google by typing in “mouth that is weird.”
No doctors I’ve seen even know my condition.
No real treatments exist, which is just what I feared.
Like ears when they ring (called tinnitus)
“ringing mouths” have the term “oral phantoms.”
My ghosties are running amok all day long
always changing their ring tone! So random!
The inside of my mouth’s getting signals all wrong.
“Be lumpy;” “be smooth;” “be gigantic;” “be small.”
“Now be squishy” (that one I hate with a passion).
Wet or dry though inside, my lips on the outside I don’t feel at all.
By accident I have discovered
the mouthguard I use for teeth-grinding
could help me to deal with my phantoms,
but no great relief am I finding.
I thank God my tongue’s not affected
though eating is often as weird as hell.
Indescribable is each sensation.
Body’s strong; nervous system’s NOT well.
Different surges – I give names for them.
This past year, a new thing arose.
Nothing bothersome: like they are 1/3 asleep,
they’re the new thing I’ve named “squiggly toes.”
Dec. 11, 2020 for Nina Parmenter's 'It feels surreal' Poetry Contest
Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2020
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