A Specific Kind of Loneliness

There is a specific kind of loneliness when you lose someone you love It is difficult to explain… For some it’s like a hole in their heart… For others…a permanent stain. It’s specific for each person We have our own joys…our own agonies housed within our hearts…in specific memories We spend our years making these memories…from every January to December…. after a person dies we spend the rest of our years trying to remember…. We easily remember the big moments…momentous laugher…meaningful tears But we find as our mind searches through its memories It’s the little things we hold dear. It’s a smile shared from across a room It’s walks together in the sand It’s seeing the sparkle in their eyes It’s quietly holding hands. It’s a hug for no reason whatsoever…just to show how much we care It’s a kiss on the back of the neck…It’s those quiet moments that we shared… When that specific loneliness enters our life…we have no choice but to face it… But if we’re lucky for every moment of loneliness we have a memory to replace it… And when we stop and think it through…when into our memories we dig… We wonder at what point in life…all our little things became so big? And though we know nothing will ever take away the ache it is possible for the pain to be appeased by filling up our specific loneliness with specific memories…